Milk of the Poopy
by Starpaw77
Summary: Strax, apparently, has sniffed a few too many paint fumes, and is now out of control. He now helps himself to something called the 'Milk of the Poopy' a very strange diet indeed...
1. Milk of the Poopy?

"Sir…! I think I've sniffed a few too many paint fumes and have gone insane!" the sontaran looked up at the time lord, whom seemingly turned away from him.

"Ah, paint fumes! Earlier you were talking about the 'Milk of the Poppy', and now paint fumes!" the Doctor turned around, squinting his eyes at him.

"But sir, I needed the milk to,-"suddenly Strax paused for a moment. "Sir, I only digested it because I had a taste of the Milk of the Poopy in my mouth!"

Suddenly the Doctor turned to look down into the sontarans eyes, "Milk of the Poopy?"

"Yes sir, Milk of the Poopy, worse than Poppy Milk itself!" Strax's voice beginning to pick up the speed that he'd usually do when panicking.

The Doctor just stared at him, silencing the area. Strax and his Poppy Milk was worse enough, now what alien material is Milk of the Poopy? Strax had gone on an addiction to these 'certain' wasteful materials, it was starting to get to Strax's head, well, not 'starting', he'd already been insane enough.

Strax then spoke up, "But sir, Milk of the Poopy doesn't sound that bad! It's actually quite good, you should try it."

The try it excuse that everybody'd practically used, past, present, future.

"Try a drink called Milk of the Poopy? How disgusting," the Doctor turned away from Strax, crossing his arms. "Sure, I am sort of like a time lord version of Jack Harkness in this incarnation, but am not trying that!"

"Sir, what would ever make you think that you were like Jack Harkness?" Strax's stubby legs wobbled a bit, making him legally able to tumble.

"I kissed you," the Doctor quickly turned around again, his eyebrows narrowed.

"You also noogied me," the sontaran tried narrowing his stiff eyes.

"Yes, that I did, 'noogie', as you call it. I now feel like I kiss everybody and everything," the Doctor looked down at the dark brick road.

"Sir, that'd actually be true-,"Strax being interrupted again.

"Oi, I do not kiss everything, it was a metaphor, now go off and make sure the paint fumes wear off." Doctor pointed straight ahead of the two.

Bright Victorian lamps lining the road, almost blinding Strax's vision…

"Grenades TARDIS, done with," the sontaran grumbled to himself as he hobbled off onto the brick path.

The Doctor then turned to face the TARDIS in front of him; he walked inside, the door closing behind him.

The time lord widened his eyes.

"I came here only to dispatch a sontaran from the planet, whatever that means," Canton Delaware III standing in front of the Doctor.

"Canton? How are you still here? I sent you back with Nixon!" the Doctor tilted his head, walking a few steps behind him.

"I was sent on a mission to kill a certain 'Strax', a group of people teleported me here to," Canton pulled out a gun.

"But, how, uh, wha-"the Doctor turned to look at the TARDIS door, which he'd just walked through, then glanced back at Canton again.

"Wow, this place really changed from when I was here," Canton walked over to the console.

"Blimey! You're still alive! Canton!" the Doctor suddenly leaped forward, 'noogie-ing' Canton.

"Um, Doctor, do you mind if maybe you could stop that, perhaps?" Canton looked at the Doctor, the time lord pulled away.

"Sorry about that, just happy to see you again…! But why do you wish to kill the 'Strax'?"

"Nixon has investigated about it, and says that'd we don't do it now, he could have potential to blow up our ship on the moon." Canton answered back to the Doctor.

"Ah yes, he did declare war up there," the Doctor then rolling his eyes, looking up at the ceiling.

"War on the moon…?" Canton said slowly, narrowing his eyes to look at the Doctor.

"Well, we'll have to get to that later. Firstly," the Doctor moved closer to Canton. "You shouldn't kill Strax, he's a nice fellow when getting to know him, or almost nice, at least help me with a little thing, he's been sniffing quite a few paint fumes and jollying down Poppy Milk recently." The Doctor put his arm around Canton.

"Poppy Milk…? The person who I was sent here to hunt… drinks… Poppy Milk?" Canton appeared to be quite disgusting with this found out about his supposed 'Enemy'.

"Yes, that would be correct," the Doctor responded back to Canton Delaware.

"Okay, then please locate me to him," Canton turned to look at the TARDIS console.

"Alright then, wait, he hobbled down the street. Says he's going to get grenades, I told him to go down so that the paint fumes wear off, oh no, we're in trouble."

"Why?" Canton reached back and scratched the back of his head.

"Paint fumes, almost poison, last time I put something such as 'Paint Fumes' nearby a sontaran they reacted to it becoming a little more on the crazy scale," the Doctor leaned on the TARDIS, laughing nervously to himself.

"So, now I have to deal with a pitiful blob of whatever Nixon told me about whom has just sniffed paint fumes and is on the loose because their crazy?" Canton raised his eyebrows.

"Well, uh, yes, but we can resolve that though." The Doctor clicking a few levers placed upon the TARDIS console.

"Resolve such things? I think we should hunt down the bastard," Canton threw his gun into the air, then catching it again.

"That wouldn't be necessary, only if we wrestled with him and then trapped him in a cage," the Doctor turned away from the console, the TARDIS began rumbling and wheezing.

"That would be fine with me, whatever it takes to get him back to Mr. President." Canton saluted, bowing.

"Ok, well then, we'd better get started before he starts reaching the ultimate gasses level!"

…

Strax looked around him to see if anybody was there. He began flapping his arms like a strange uncoordinated bird. For else then, he ran down the street in such a huff it could start an airplane.

Running through the long Victorian city street, he ran into a small grocery stand.

The woman whom owned the stand gasped as Strax fell to the floor. "I am so sorry, I really am, here, let me help you," the woman reached down to pull Strax up. Strax spread his stubby arm to her as she pulled him up.

The woman looked at the sight of him, her eyes rolling back into her head; she had fainted onto the bricks.

Strax glanced down at her, before running through the city again, this time running into a man with a few dozen papers, he fell on the ground, papers spreading onto the damp cold hard brick.

"Remain calm, human scum!" the sontaran looked down at him. Then began running again, it was like he was out of control. He then peered behind him to see he was leaving some sort of gassy substance.

He came to a holt, and leaned in to sniff the gas, it was more paint fumes. Suddenly Strax jumped high into the air, slashing his hands about.

He landed on the ground with a hard **CLANK**!

Strax began kicking the wet brick, pushing himself up. He ran through the city once again.

But in a heartbeat he ran into something hard, something wooden, something blue.

…

The TARDIS wobbled, and never seemed to budge.

"What the hell is going on?" Canton looked over at the Doctor, holding firmly onto the controls.

"I don't know!" he shouted back at Canton. Something fell onto the floor from the roof.

The Doctor walked over to it, it had been a potato and grenade? The Doctor closed his eyes, sighing at the potato on the ground.

He gritted his teeth, narrowing his eyes, "STRAX!"

The Doctor stormed out of the TARDIS to find that Strax was well lunged into one of the TARDIS's windows. The Doctor gasped, looking at Strax's chubby legs hanging out, waving back and forth.

He peered at the little stubby legs peering out of his time machine. He then clamped his hands down onto the two legs and began pulling them out, but it was no use, Strax had already lunged himself halfway into the TARDIS.

The Doctor glanced at the legs, then turned to the big city, he began running on the path.

He bumped into two women, falling onto the ground.

"Jenny, Vastra." The Doctor looked up at them.

"What happened?" Jenny peered at the TARDIS in the distance, fog steaming out of it.

"I kind of had an accident… you see, Strax plunged into my TAR-"The Doctor was interrupted by Jenny and Vastra.

"Strax plunged into your TARDIS? What kind of idiot is he, and how is he that strong," Vastra turned to look at the fogging TARDIS.

"I think we know that one." Jenny sighed, the two women ran over towards the TARDIS.

"Ok, you get the right leg, I get the left," Vastra tilted her head over to the left leg, they both nodded in agreement.

Strax came tumbling out of the window, glass shattering all over.

The Doctor ran towards the scene, looking down at Strax.

"Sir, I have a gas leak in my body and it's draining out my bodily functions!" the sontaran looked at the time lord, his eyes wide open.

"You broke a window to my TARDIS!" the Doctor looked at the hole in the window, shattered, jagged ridges in the corners.

Strax then quivered, it felt like he had a cramp in his stomach. He suddenly started created such a noise. The Doctor widened his eyes, flapping his hands in the air.

"Wap, wap, wap," Strax threw up on the blue telephone box. The Doctor's jaw had dropped.

A mix of yellow combined with sort of a green-ish mixed with a substance spread on the TARDIS.

The Doctor cringed and jerked. His eyebrows narrowed. Vastra and Jenny just looked at the colorful barf on the police box.

Jenny and Vastra slowly crept away from the area the disaster had happened.

The Doctor stared in shock; Strax wiped his mouth from the growly substance.

Suddenly Strax stormed off into the rest of the Victorian city. The Doctor still looking at his TARDIS; the TARDIS door opened, revealing Canton, he looked to his right to find that the substance was covering the walls and the ground.

"You my friend, have a mess to clean up." Canton then slipped in the TARDIS, closing the door. The Doctor still standing in horror; the nerve of Strax! No wonder why they'd wanted to kill him!

…

Strax ran throughout the streets, now having the full power to knock down at least a full set of two stands at one time. He jumped onto an orange stand, oranges poured out of the wooden crates.

The man who owned the stand widened his beady eyes. Strax then got up and rushed to another stand and plummeted into it, a huge crash came from the direction.

A woman and a man covered in sour grape juice and wines.

"Sir, madam, sorry," he then ran away from the stand. He looked down an alley to see a box full of grenades, just where he'd kept them.

He ran down the alley and picked a grenade from the box, throwing it down the alley, a loud boom sound was to be heard.

He ran down the rest of the alley to come to the other part of the city, street lights even brighter.

Strax pulled out another grenade and threw it towards the direction of a tall office building. Suddenly another loud boom was heard; Strax peeked from behind the alley wall.

A huge hole dug inside the building, bricks falling across the streets and walls, making more dents inside the buildings.

He heard people screaming in the close distance. Running across the road, Strax tucked the box of grenades back in its proper place.

He ran across the street, not caring whether people noticed what he'd look like.

Still running he suddenly pulled out a baby bottle filled with the Milk of the Poopy, a white substance, 'poppy milk', then a very chunky brown substance, 'dung'.

He took a sip of the bottle, chugging the substance into his mouth. He suddenly jumped into the air, flapping his arms once again.

Strax then ran into a bigger building, it was a museum, filled with paintings, paintings, paint, paint, paint fumes.

Strax clung onto a painting, sniffing it very closely. A woman and her daughter turned to the nearby Strax quickly, looking at him like he was some kind of alien, 'he was'.

He sniffed the painting once again, breathing in the air, but it wasn't strong paint fumes. He pulled away, then turned to see a man with a light green vest talking to a young man.

Strax immediately bombarded towards the green vested man.

"Sir, do you know where I can find fresh paint fumes?" Strax looked up at the two people talking, they turned to look down at him, confused and scared expressions crept upon their faces.

"No sir," the man in the green vest shook his head…

* * *

**WHAT WAS THAT? I know, I know, it's going to probably become a series of Strax doing random and stupid acts, but Strax is awesome so who cares anyways? I'll also get to the Milk of the Poopy thing later, it's sort of a private joke when I messed up saying milk of the poppy because we were playing a medieval game and it had to happen… See ya later!**


	2. A Little Running Sontaran

**Having a way too much fun with this story! XD**

* * *

"Sir, but I need the paint fumes before time runs out!" Strax turned quickly back and forth between the two.

"Before time runs out? Excuse me whoever you are, so sorry, but we do not have any paint fumes." The one still with the bright green vest shaking his head, he then turned back to the young man standing in front of him.

Strax watched as the two bantered, now walking away to wander the museum. He ran away from them, running into the large middle of the room.

He turned to see a little boy and girl side by side, not older than the age of five. If they were about five, Strax knew what he could easily do — they wouldn't faint because of the sight of him, as Strax would usually think.

He quickly jumped in front of the two; the two children quickly turned away from each other and laid their eyes on Strax.

"Human children, do you know where I can find the closest paint fumes?" the sontaran pitched his voice to a 'more' higher level.

The children glanced at him once again, casting him confused looks.

"Sorry kind sir, we don't know where any paint could be." The girl shook her head, flouncing her curly blonde hair.

"I'm going to go play with my grenades." The sontaran grumbled off, leaving the two kids behind him.

He suddenly picked up speed till he started running again, he ran out of the museum, leaving it in the distance.

Strax walked through the damp streets, a full moon embracing the rest of the world with a rather bright light.

The sontaran ran into another alley, he suddenly stopped, his shoes squeaking against the hard brick.

"Mr. President needs you." Canton holding a gun up to Strax's face, almost instantly touching it with the ash along the brim of the guns entrance.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but to honestly say. I'm confuzzled."

"Don't need to be that word. Just need you to come with me or I shoot." Canton put his other hand up onto the gun.

"Shoot? Sir, you're going to shoot me? What'd I do to deserve this, kind sir?" the sontaran stepped back away from the close up of the gun.

"Declaring war on the moon; Mr. President doesn't allow that, we sent a ship up there." Canton took the gun away from the sontarans face, beginning to slide it back into his pocket.

"A ship up onto the moon?" the sontaran looked 'confuzzled' at 'the' Canton with the gun.

"Yes, that's what is humans do — 'it's' normal." Canton tilted the gun upward facing the ceiling, then placed it back into his pocket.

"Sir, I hadn't an idea. The moon is a very vast place." Strax put his tiny hands up, then collapsed them onto his side.

"Ok, please, call me Canton, or if you'll be annoying bout' it, Cant." Canton existed the area.

Strax ran up the alley again, smashing into another brick building. His stubby legs wobbled onto the ground. His face looking up at the sky, but he'd spotted something on top of a roof?

The sontaran picked himself up. The figure on top of the roof suddenly disappeared.

Strax turned around quickly to find the Doctor standing there with a watch on his wrist.

"So useful, but so unhealthy," the Doctor looked down at the watch tightened around his wrist.

"Sir, I've been running and can't stop — something is controlling me." Strax stepped forward, watching as the Doctor tightened the watch.

"Strax, drinking too much of that has turned you into — well, blimey, I don't know what it's turned you into, but we'll soon figure that out, you sontarans have a big tendency to get addicted to paint fumes but go crazy over them." The Doctor turned to look back down the alley, then turned to the roof of the building which he'd teleported from.

"But sir, I need to know before —" and Strax was off like that, running down the alleys and hallways of the city.

The Doctor turned to look at the spot where Strax just lay; it'd been such a hassle getting that 'certain' sontaran to listen.

"Oh no, the paint fumes are now controlling him, causing him to —"

"Doctor, Canton here — 'Strax', apparently, has begun to tear up the town, but I ain't going to let him get too out of control." The Doctor whipped around to look at the following Canton.

"Alright, Canton, just go and I'll be back at the TARDIS." The Doctor turned something on his watch, then he was off and disappeared.

Canton flipped back round' and ran down the alley, in a great huff.

Strax couldn't stop himself! He was on the move and nobody to stop him! He ran down the alley once more! It was near impossible!

The sontaran ran into Vastra and Jenny, he fell down onto the ground in a big heap.

"Madame, Madame, I can't control it!" Strax hopped up from his feet, dashing down the alley once more. A trail of water kicking up from his feet, the puddles reflecting from the street lights, a smooth color of lights spread across a bigger puddle.

Strax hopped into the puddle, suddenly tripping and falling into the deeper water. Mud splashed everywhere onto the street.

The sontaran took off once again, brick clapping beneath his feet.

He came to a holt, taking out a bottle of milk of the poopy, he shoved the poopy milk into his mouth, suddenly jerking, he jumped into the air once again. Jumping into the air a flash of golden light swirled around him.

Appearing from the rooftop, the Doctor looked at Strax moving steadily in the air. The sontaran smiling a bright smile, he put his hands up to the sky.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!" the Doctor shouted at the sontaran rotating around in the air. Strax suddenly looked down at the Doctor upon the ground. He turned to look up again, ignoring the time lord.

The Doctor put his hands up to his face, making a weeping angel motion.

Strax just twirled around in the air once again.

The Doctor turned his head down to look at his watch, he twisted a handle. Trying to teleport onto Strax's head he fell down from the spot. He fell down onto the brick, closing his eyes.

The Doctor groaned, turning up to look at the sontaran dancing in the air, more light surrounded him.

The time lord quickly got up onto his feet, still looking up at the sontaran.

Suddenly the light went out from around the sontaran — he twirled, falling down onto the ground.

"What… was… that?" the Doctor asked horrified at the sontaran's dance.

The sontaran quickly flashed up onto his stubby legs, "I don't know, sir. Sir, this is why I'm getting out of control, sir? Sir?" Strax shouted at the Doctor.

The time lord just turned away and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes at the sontaran.

"Sorry sir, next time I'll —" Strax ran off once again… into the dark and light night…

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed! XD, just- let me say one thing… this… is… too… much… FUN! See ya later!**


	3. Swords

_**Hello again… must write… Poopy Milk story… I bet everyone else in the world would be like WTF! But my weirdness always leads to something…**_

* * *

Strax, buzzing through the streets…

The Doctor weld his eyes shut, breathing heavily, he just stood there, standing in the direction of where the sontaran had skipped off to.

The road covered with dark red bricks now littered with ponds, horse carriages strolling along the road, umbrellas sticking out the very windows that they were in.

Some people walking along the brick road stopped a moment to even turn to look at the spot the Doctor was in, a miserable expression painted across his face.

Rain began dribbling till it had gotten harder and slightly fogged every time it hit the brick ground.

The Doctor still facing the way Strax had danced off to, his floppy hair now soaked and turned down.

Suddenly jolting forward, the Doctor began running down the Victorian street, in hopes of finding the filled sontaran.

His hand spread in front of him, pointing the direction where Strax had taken off.

Finally coming to a dark alley, the Doctor came to a holt. Falling onto his knees, he just turned to look around him – before finally pulling out his sonic screwdriver. A little green light shining through the alley…

Behind him stood Jenny, she looked down at him still on his knees.

He quickly turned around, his eyes quickly widened in shock and surprise.

"What are you doing? It's raining! Why are you still out here Doctor?"

"Jenny, I've tried to find Strax, he's nowhere to be seen… I'm afraid… I lost him…" he turned to look down at the ground.

"Oh, don't worry Doctor. He just got crazy and ran off because of some stupid Poopy Milk, don't worry, it's not your fault! He just runs off and does what he wants! He's a sontaran! He's Strax." Jenny laughed, a smile spread across her face.

"I usually loose everyone…"

Jenny sighed; she leaned down onto her knees, putting her arm around him, looking out into the dark and stormy night.

* * *

"EXCUSE ME SIR! OUT OF MY WAY SIR, MADAME…!" Strax shouted skidding across the street, his hands in front of him like a quick drugged zombie.

Suddenly, a horde of people began chasing the stubby sontaran. Strax quickly peered to look behind him, the crowd armed with umbrellas at the ready.

The sontaran gasped, beginning to pick up speed, running away from the horde and crowds of people.

Suddenly the FBI agent got in front of him, armed with a gun, his hand hilted at the sontaran.

"Sir, but you said…"

"Sorry, but Mr. President…" Canton smiled, still aiming the pistol at Strax

"But… I…"

"You have no choice… you have to die… the moon is ours, you can't declare war on it, plus, you ain't gonna' wreck this town, or I'll do this, Merican' style." Canton narrowed his eyes, a small smirk readying his face.

The sontaran closed his eyes, but it was no use – Strax took off faster than you could say 'Trenzalore', down the streets and into alleys.

Canton's face was covered in mud the sontaran had dug up from the filthy muddy brick road.

A small blush smothered across his face peeking through the mud that covered.

Canton closed his eyes, breathing in, then out. His brow furrowed, he put his gun back into his pocket. Suddenly lashing out and running away from the crowd that just stared.

* * *

Through streets, through a gathering of kids and parents and adults, it was everything anybody could imagine, the sontaran running through those crowds, kicking up the mud and water, splashing it over the people's faces.

The sontaran came to a quick holt to hear the sound of metal swords slashing and pounding onto each other. He turned peer down an alley leading to the park.

Strax could see the shining gleam of the swords touching between each other, the sound of pained grunts, even the sound of water or a liquid splashing.

Quickly running down the path towards the moving and slashing swords, coming to find two men fighting in between…

"Stop their hearts!" declared one man, a top hat towering his head, moving back and forth as he pressed the sword towards the other person.

"No," a raspy voice came from the other end, still slashing his sword between the others.

Strax running to look closer at the fight, running down the alley – the two men quickly turned to look at Strax, their mouths began dropping, literally.

Another one with a top hat, a very pale one, well, covered with thin skin, nothing else but sept a mouth that had already dropped.

"Sir, and…" Strax paused, the man quickly turned around to look at Strax, his head cocked.

The paled one quickly pulled away from the man, dropping his sword to the ground.

"You, the sontaran…" the man growled.

"What? How would you know that?" Strax's beady eyes widened, leaning back, almost looking like he was offended of some sort.

"You should stay back away from this fight." The man said slowly, pulling away from the sontaran, turning back to the 'perhaps' alien with the top hat.

"Strax!" the sontaran whipped around to look at the voice that had cried behind him.

"Sir, these two were just fighting, I didn't do…" the Doctor came rushing down, turning to look down at the sontaran.

"Oi, you do not digest any Poopy Milk again!" the Doctor put his hand onto his head, beginning to 'noogie' him.

"Sir, please, not now!" the sontaran tried pulling away from the happy time lord – the Doctor stepped back, turning to look at the two men fighting, the one with the slightly falling top hat quickly turned to look at the Doctor.

"You, I despise you…" the one with the top hat walked over towards the Doctor, still aiming his sword in hand.

"Sir, what's happening? Who are they?" Strax turned to look up at the Doctor, his green eyes gleaming from the gleaming street lights.

"Uh…" the Doctor looked at the man nervously, taking a few steps back, his sword reflecting with more light…

* * *

_**Ok, cliffhanger! Totally doing that! So yeah, it's not just humorous, 'apparently'… my imagination sort of got out-of-hand… See ya later!**_


	4. Gone with the Intelligence

**HAHA! Evil I must be and am… still doing this story though…**

**Though, we'll still get to that Strax thing, I mean it's not called Milk of the Poopy for nothing! Right? And plus I am back to fanfiction! After beginning to write several original novels! :D Which is like, what in the world?! I have improved quite quaintly at my writing, but I am still very bubbly… :)**

* * *

"What is it sir? Sir," Strax looked at the Doctor, still out of a corner of his very eye looking at the gleaming sword being held up in the air.

"The Great Intelligence," the Doctor panted nervously, looking at the man with the large sword, his eyebrows furrowed at the Doctor—slowly approaching.

The Doctor backing up down the alley, Strax squinting at the large sword – the man still walking forwards, Strax just standing there staring at him.

"Sir with sword, I'm very pleased to meet you, here, take my generous hand in this commitment." Strax reached out his hand to the 'Great Intelligence'.

The Great Intelligence with the sword looked at him suspiciously, his eyes narrowed at the little sontaran man. He quickly raised his sword, holding it high in the air so every street light could reflect off of it.

"Uh, sir with sword, I am very sorry – but what's with the- steel?" Strax looked at the steel sword, still held up in the air.

"Today is the day I rewrite the Doctor, and you are just getting in my way." The Great Intelligence armed their swords, the paler one with the top hat arming his sword at the sontaran following along with his 'Master'.

"Rewrite the Doctor? Sir, what shall that mean? I can't possibly be getting in your way sir, it's only a great deal of –"

Strax was cut off as the 'top hatted sword man' pushed him out of the way – the sontaran backing away from the alley slightly, but remembering the one thing he'd always savor - his grenades!

He quickly ran down the alley – before pulling out another bottle of the oh-so-precious Poopy Milk, he quickly slurped down the rest, holding it up so he could look at the lights gleaming from it.

His stiff eyes narrowed, his mouth resting into a frown. The Milk was gone—every last little bit of it.

Suddenly, the sontaran jumped up into the air once again – gold rotating around him. It kept motioning and motioning, raising him up and up into the sky.

Starting to reach the point where he could see the whole entire town from his point of view, he flapped his arms.

The sontaran quickly falling from a great height, back down onto the brick road. His armor slightly protecting his fall – Strax huffed, pushing himself up from the ground, bounding off into the street and city again.

Running down the road till he came to another alley, a socket of grenades sitting in a small cringing sliver in the wall.

"My grenades!" the sontaran smiled at the little bag of grenades lying there. He went, reaching down into the bag pulling out a dark green grenade, suddenly staring at the oval shaped bomb.

He took about five, now running down the many alleys.

Trying to look for the alley that held the 'The Great Meany Sword Intelligent Man', as Strax called him in his tiny head.

Still running down the alleys, the streets still lit in the dark night, the moon about half way in the sky, striking midnight – when would it ever be daytime?

He found the alley he was looking for!

The big sword man still standing there, raising his sword – the sontaran threw a grenade down the alley.

"Here sir, it'll blow up in… two minutes!" the sontaran looked down at the grenades, seemingly telling the time somehow and anyhow.

"What? Oh bloody gracious, I have to get out of this alley!" the Great Intelligence, both of them looking down the long alley. The man with the long sword, dropping it upon the ground, quickly took his hand and placed it onto his face, trying to rip a bit of skin off. When ripping it off there was nothing, nothing inside his head – the man falling to the ground, a lumpy coat just lying there.

"But…" Strax looked at the coat, lying on the ground. Nothing left, the other Great Intelligence gone as well, his dark coat left upon the ground. The sontaran looking around at the two coats scratched the top of his head – nothing to be seen from the Intelligence anymore.

"Strax!" a voice said down on the ground, Strax quickly looking down.

"Sir, what happened?" Strax looked down, discovering the Doctor lying there, looking up at him.

"They tried to poke me, as you would say it, but didn't succeed, very much." The Doctor got up, now looking down at the sontaran soldier.

"Very much?" Strax squinted his tiny eyes, watching the alien fold his arms and cast him a glare. The sontaran hadn't an idea what was going on, only thinking about how he was always called a 'potato' and grenades, not only things he'd think about – he sometimes thought about more important things like about eating Jenny's strawberry sherbets, or deliciously inhaling the horses that would connect to the carriages those humans strolled around.

"They 'poked' me a little, that's all." The Doctor rolled his eyes, "you people or 'alien sontarans' are making me stupid! I hate being stupid, being stupid is for humans! Wait what, did I just say what I thought I'd said?" the Doctor paused at the thought.

"Sherlock Holmes?"

"Don't be clever Strax! It doesn't suit you! As I've said before! But why did I call humans stupid, oh I really am thinking like Sherlock, that's bad, very bad, after all, that psychopath or 'sociopath' can't get people…" the Doctor turned to look down at the ground, then turned back to look at the sontaran – a confused expression painted across his face.

"Oh, I'm babbling, aren't I?"

"Yes, yes you are sir."

"Why am I babbling at a time like this?"

"Sir, it's because you babble everywhere! Even in your sleep, I and Jenny have watched you. You somehow find the TARDIS console…comfortable."

...The Doctor glared at Strax for a long while, the sontaran staring back up at the Doctor. The time lord and sontaran standing there for a few minutes, endlessly staring at each other…

"Why did I even decide to talk to you? You're useless to talk to at a time like this!" the time lord pulled away from Strax, staring down the other street.

"Sir I'll get Jenny and Vastra if you wish, they may be able to help with those big sword alien scums!" Strax gave a little nod before stumbling down the road, flashing past all the street lights in his pathway.

Strax ran down another alley, suddenly coming to a holt. Those 'Great Intelligent' guys were standing in front of him, Strax looking between two long coated people.

"Sir, we do not linger following sontarans around here, it's not appropriate." Strax pushed his body up, straightening it to a board like position. The Great Intelligence gave a quick glance at each other before turning back to look at the little sontaran.

"We do not follow your rules, puny alien." The Great Intelligence said, cocking his disgustingly pale head.

"I sir, am not puny. I once tried to takeover." Strax said, of course he was trying to be cool and badass, but nothing ever made that sontaran 'badass' as you could say. He just wasn't good enough material!

"Yes you did puny hideous sontaran, but no longer…" The Great Intelligence spoke in a deep voice. It was beginning to get to Strax, the need to run. He had to get to his Poopy Milk again and reserve it and keep it sacred away from the Great Intelligence apparently, if only they had let him go for once!

"Sir, I became good. I think." Strax scrunched up his potato-dwarf face up nervously. He couldn't remember much of anything anymore, not even his own goodness, why was he himself good? And why was he consuming Poopy Milk again? He started out with Poppy Milk; normal people drink that in medieval times to make themselves fall asleep.

"You did. That's why WE... hate you…" The Great Intelligence began to plunge at the sontaran it had seemed with all his might. His lean tuxedoed body and long arms reaching for the very stubby idiot looking sontaran who tried to escape his grasp – but that attempt failed and the sontaran had been swooped into the Great Intelligence's arms.

"UNHAND ME AT THIS INSTANCE!" Strax shouted as he flailed around in the grasp, trying to pull himself out and run.

"STRAX!" the sontaran turned to see the Doctor running at him quickly, his sonic screwdriver in hand.

The Great Intelligence did not look impressed.

"Let him down!" the Doctor shouted at the tall Great Intelligence, who looked not amused and almost like Slenderman.

"No." Was the reply the Great Intelligence said in a dark tone, trying to sound all dramatic.

"Sir! This cannot happen! I am a sontaran for goodness sakes! UNHAND ME!" Strax shouted louder. He flailed more as the tall creature dragged him away into a few street lights there were bright ahead.

The Doctor began running after the sontaran. He tried to catch the Great Intelligence until it disappeared, Strax disappearing with him too.

"…" the time lord left a blank stare at the area where the Great Intelligence had disappeared. The last remaining bits were just a coat, and nothing else. Strax was gone, the great 'nice' sontaran, they had seemingly taken him away forever, no escape.

"That's why milk of the poopy is bad…" the Doctor just stared at a little rain puddle. Street lights shining and reflecting in the bright water. It was still night with a full moon; it had been these couple of hours of chasing Strax. And he has disappeared in these few hours as well.

The Doctor needed a plan to get him back…


End file.
